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Were the Mayans Wrong?

Several articles caught our attention a few months ago that got us to thinking perhaps the Mayans got it wrong about the end of the world as we know it. One was an announcement by international scientists regarding the resumption of bird flu research which as we all know can lead to a mutated strain that turns us all into Zombies. The other was a funny article by wine writer W. Blake Gray about a future in which a virulent form of Brettanomyces called SuperBrett dominated the globe and destroyed the wine industry. In honor of Halloween, we decided to put both of these possible cataclysms together and see what the world might be like.

First, Bird Flu

In 2013 40 scientists from around the world announced that they would end a self imposed moratorium on highly controversial experiments with the H5N1 virus. This “bird flu” virus is extremely deadly when contracted by humans with 59% of victims dying. These victims contracted the virus through contact with birds but the scientists were concerned a few simple mutations could easily make it possible to be transferred from human to human. Experiments that involved determining this possibility began in June of 2013 in several labs in Brussels. Unfortunately, one experiment was mistakenly released into the human population. The synthetic mutations did make it possible for the virus to move from human to human but also had another side effect. It turned the host into a human flesh eating Zombie. The virus quickly spread throughout the globe until there were no places on Earth that didn’t have plenty of Zombies. In fact by 2016 the majority of “people” on Earth were Zombies

SuperBrett

SuperBrett is a genetically enhanced form of Brettanomyces a genus of yeast that is often referred to as “Brett”. Brett is found in all wines and in most cases imparts desirable flavors when not in too high a concentration. However, when in high concentrations it imparts flavors and aromas of cat pee, sewage, wet skunk, and other nastiness.

Unfortunately in 2013 Swedish Bio-Chemists took a shot at creating a Brett on steroids for use in creating bio-fuel. It was a bust for creating fuel but did manage to spread world wide and dominate the natural forms of Brett. Thus by 2015 the wine industry was destroyed.

How Zombies Saved The Wine Industry

In 2016 an amazing thing happened. An entrepreneurial Zombie named Pugsly Mc Fiddle founded his Spring Mountain Estate by, well, eating the former proprietor. Mc Fiddle knew that humans hated wine once the SuperBrett took over but what of his fellow Zombies? His vision was to market his wines to the Zombie population who tended to seek out the foul and disgusting. It was a huge hit and thus began the Zombiewine movement. His inaugural 2016 vintage Chateau Eventrer (French for the house of disembowelment)  Cabernet is still considered the finest Zombiewine produced during this era. So if you want to know what the DdV staff is drinking during the Zombie Apocalypse this is it!

zombie-labelChateau Eventrer 2016 Cabernet Sauvignon – Spring Mountain

DdV: 100
Price: $150
Blend: 100% Cabernet
Source: Spring Mountain

This is simply the foulest most disgusting bottle of SuperBrett laden filth ever produced! Stunning in its complexity and nuance. On the nose, rotting flesh, grass fire, and bloody vomit abound. The draw and mid features burnt tire, feces, hog urine, and week old puss. Finish is long and glamorous with hints of burnt hair, exhaust fumes, and wet rotting dog carcass. A truly remarkable achievement for the ages.

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