Ron Washam, a former Sommelier in Los Angeles has easily one of the best wine blogs on the web. Entitled The Hosemaster of Wine, Ron’s alter ego “The Hosemaster” skewers the wine industry, critics, and fellow bloggers in a restrained, intelligent but immensely funny way. His blog was nominated for a 2012 Wine Bloggers Award (which he calls “A Poodle”) and should win rather handily.
As tribute, I decided to take a shot at doing one of his best recurring bits called What We’re Reading. In these, he takes quick jabs at his favorite subjects by making up fake articles. It’s quick but always laugh out loud Hee Haw funny.
So here’s to you Ron. May your house be full of Poodles.
You can find his blog here: http://hosemasterofwine.blogspot.com/
What We’re Reading
STEVE!: Steve posts another insightful article only to have his grammar and punctuation questioned by a guy who single handedly kept his fraternity on double secret probation for all of the seven years he was there.
WALL STREET JOURNAL: Lettie Teague concludes her 7 part article on coasters. She also takes a moment to lament people who won’t shut up and let her tell them what to drink like her husband does.
THE DECANTRESS: The Decantress reviews tasting at yet another bourgeoisie winery but actually posts one picture that doesn’t include her wearing a $2,000 sun dress.
1WINEDOODY: Joe compares wine blogging to disco but fails to recognize that his blog killed wine blogging in the same way that Kiss killed disco.
THE HOSEMASTER: The master of hose gives peace a chance by taking a San Francisco limo tour with Jay McInerney and a magnum of 2004 Harlan. All goes well at first with McInerney pointing and laughing at poor people and The Hose making up Spice Girl names for his favorite critics and bloggers. The party ends quickly however when The Hose boots Jay Jay out of the limo for his failure to assist in assigning a knockout Spice Girl name for Tim Fish. The Hose then makes a bee-line to The Haight to sample some Humbolt terrior.
WINE SPECTATOR: James Laube states that his perfectly groomed goatee gives him superpowers that can detect the slightest flaws in any wine. Tim Fish writes something so boring I had an out of body experience and forgot what planet I was on.
W. BLINKY GRAY: Blinky writes something or other about wine lists with the same picture of himself. Can’t recall, I’m just too mesmerized by those hipster chick glasses he wears. It’s hard to concentrate… or keep a pulse.